Friday, September 18, 2009
Tears
I had a breakdown this morning. I got out of the shower, and sat down on the toilet and cried. I cried and I cried. I am sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I hate not feeling myself. I hate that my life feels chaotic...my house is always dirty because I don't have the energy to clean...I haven't enjoyed cooking for my little family....laundry is just sitting in its basket waiting to be put away...you get the point. But what I hate most...I hate doing this to my little family. Poor Anton and Lilly have to put up with me not feeling good all the time. And, it is Friday. Friday is always such a fun day in our house. It is the day for Lilly's Gymboree class and it is our day and our night to always go do something fun. I WANT to go do something fun, but I am so drained, and I don't feel good. Its like I just don't have it in me to do anything. Nothing. It makes me sad. I hate it. It made me feel like a mean mom that I didn't want to go to Gymboree with Lilly. I know, I know...I need to get over it. And, I will. I just needed a good cry.
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8 comments:
Don't judge how you feel. You feel what you feel and it won't last, but it's OK to not be happy and to just be tired. Love you.
These days are TOTALLY normal. I commend you for being so honest and expressing your feelings. Don't be hard on yourself, it will pass. You are doing your best & your darling little family knows it & so does our Heavenly Father. Just keep trying!! xoxo
oh hon, i *so get* how you are feeling. the first trimester is pretty awful, huh? i'm just so happy and frankly surprised i even survived it - luckily it's almost over for me - but soon you'll be feeling better and have more energy and food will sound better and really, i promise, things are only going to get better and better. hang in there and remember that the lil poppet inside you is worth it!
Ah, the joys of pregnancy. I felt that same way when I was pregnant with Weston. I fell behind on everything, couldn't keep the house clean, couldn't keep my eyes open, didn't want to play with Stella, etc. Don't feel bad, all women have to go through it!
Lizzy just accept it for now and know that in no way at all this is really you. You are making a little person for heavens sake!!! Give yourself a break :) It will pass very soon.
You can call me whenever you need mashed potatoes. I'll even buy you the big one :) Hang in there.
Dido! I know exactly how you're feeling. I hope you feel better soon.
Oh LIZ!!! it's awful feeling this way. but I KNOW you are doing everything you can and you would be doing more if you could too. Don't be so harsh on yourself. you are growing a little peanut in you and (unfortunately) this peanut is an energy sucker!!!
don't let satan smile right now. he knows how hard you work at being an amazing mom and wife - and you ARE STILL DOING THIS. don't let satan put in these thoughts of self hatred and unworthiness. it really is normal to be wiped of energy - i promise. and when you are able to get some more - you will. I KNOW YOU will.
love you.
and if you ever need help - PLEASE ask!
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